The Olympics are looming and I’ve decided to join the horde
of Olympic-haters. I tried to remain indifferent and ignore the whole shebang
but after constant discussions in the media, I decided to form an opinion. Unsurprisingly,
I chose to join the naysayers.
The debate surrounding the benefits of the Olympics mainly
consists of two conflicting armies: the cheerful, patriotic lot grinning menacingly
and thrusting a flag into your face while yelling “National Pride! Community
Spirit!” repeatedly, and us – the grumpy, moaning ones who snap the plastic
flag sticks in half and snarl through gritted teeth as we watch the Olympics
unfold.
I have many reasons for hating the Olympics; some of them
logical and understandable, some of them stupid and personal – for example, I
don’t like watching sport because I’m pathetic at it and watching other people
do it brilliantly depresses me. But I’ll try to avoid the personal reasons and
stick with the mainstream ones.
Firstly, it’s ridiculously expensive. Stupidly expensive. I
don’t even want to know the figure, it may give me an aneurism. Not only is it
a lot of money, it’s a waste of money. Because what are we actually paying for?
A stadium that will probably be ignored for a few years post-Olympics before
being sold at a fraction of its original cost to some giant corporation who
will proceed to make millions out of it. A giant tower that looks like the
architect stepped on some Meccano and thought “That’ll do.” And a few weeks of
sport, including a lovely opening ceremony, which I’m sure will be brilliant
because sheep, rain and nurses are always the key components in large-scale
public celebrations.
Aggravation number two: it’s happening in London. That’s
obvious, but what I mean is that it’s happening where I live, so will therefore
fuck up MY summer. Some people may point out that it won’t really affect me and
that I should stop moaning. To those people I say: 1) Fuck off. 2) Actually it
will affect me. Even if we put aside the possible terrorist attacks (THEY’RE
POSSIBLE, I’M NOT PARANOID, HONEST), it’s still irritating. I don’t
particularly want extra tourists swanning around London; it’s busy enough as it
is. And I don’t really appreciate the fact that public transport will be
painfully busy (it’s already like playing a dangerously large game of sardines
on the tube as it is) and that the roads are going to be hell; Olympic lanes,
who’s genius idea was that?
Finally, it appears to be being organised by children. The
kind of children who need safety scissors and have gloves sewn into their
coats. This is clearly the driving cause behind most of my complaints but I
will treat it as a separate paragraph. They have made some of the most idiotic
decisions possible, I can’t figure out if they are deliberately sabotaging the
Olympics so we never have to host it again, or if they are actual fuckwits. It’s
probably the latter, which is actually more depressing if I’m honest. The TV
programme “2012” is a disturbingly plausible portrayal of the Olympic
organisers, if you haven’t seen it I suggest you do, as it feels like it could
easily be a documentary.
I know my last paragraph said “Finally”, that was
misleading, sorry. This is the last paragraph, I promise. In conclusion, I can’t
see many upsides to the Olympics. And ultimately, the Olympics are just a few
weeks of people running about, jumping over things. How does that warrant a
worldwide festival every 4 years? Does anyone actually know? I don’t really
have that big of a problem with the Olympics. Except for when it’s where I
live. So fuck you Olympics.
Note added on 28/07/12:
My view on the Olympics has changed somewhat. I managed to continue hating it for a while, I even managed to detest it when I saw the Olympic torch. If anything, seeing the torch made me hate it more; a parade of corporate coaches and cheerleaders isn't really my thing. But a combination of Mitt Romney doubting the Olympics and the bloody weirdest thing I have ever seen (the opening ceremony) has installed a strange sense of patriotic pride within me. It feels odd and I'm not entirely sure how it's moved me from anti- to pro-Olympics but it has. So, woo! Go Olympics!
Note added on 30/07/12:
I am now very much behind the Olympics. Team GB just won bronze in the men's team gymnastics and I currently feel disturbingly patriotic and proud. My new enthusiasm may be partially down to Kristian Thomas being very attractive, but the rest of it I cannot explain. (And yes, as well as being hot he is also a very talented gymnast, I do realise that, I'm not a superficial weirdo...) Anyway, I am now a firm Olympic supporter. What I said in my original post is still mainly true but it is now outweighed by unexplainable pride. Go Olympics, go Team GB!
