Brucie

A short story about Bruce Forsyth. I think it's brilliant but then again, I am the idiot who wrote it:

Tom’s boots clattered across the tiled floor, the tapetty-tap of tap shoes following him hurriedly. He couldn’t shake off Sir Brucie despite his best efforts; Brucie was surprisingly lithe for an 84 year old. Tom knew this place like the back of his hand, but so did Sir Brucie – this had been his school too. As Tom entered the hall he recoiled in horror and thudded to a halt. A silver plated 16 foot statue rose towered above him, it was a statue of Brucie in his trademark “thinker” pose, the plaque below it read “Sir Bruce Forsyth: our inspiration and leader. Nice to see a statue of him, to see a statue of him nice.” Tom shuddered; this had never been there before the Forsyth Putsch. The click of metal tap shoes against oak floorboards grew louder – damn that old bastard was fast. Tom leapt onto the stage in the hall and hid behind the curtains.

The clicking grew louder and slower, then stopped. “I know you’re in here little boy. Don’t think I won’t find you.” Tom disliked being called little boy, admittedly he had always looked young for his age but he could grow a beard now for Christ’s sake! Bruce (and the clicks) grew nearer, he walked up the stairs leading to the backstage area and slowly crept towards Tom’s hiding place. Tom had never wanted to die like this, at Brucie’s hands, it was so shaming. Brucie ripped the curtain open and grinned at Tom. That moustached grin would haunt Tom for years to come, it was the stuff of nightmares. Tom bolted out onto the stage and started to run for it, but he was sure Brucie would catch him. Da-da-da-da-duh-da-da-duh-da-da-da-dah; the Strictly theme tune started to blast out through the speaker system. Tom looked up at the sound box, Anna was making frantic gestures at him. Tom span round, Brucie was dancing behind him. Bruce had no control over his bones, he was a born dancer, and this song had more power over him than most. Tom sprinted away as Brucie hurled obscenities at him. Anna and Tom collided in the corridor and started to run towards the exit, they heard the speakers stop – “Keeeeeep dancing!” Brucie started to pursue them, but it was in vain, they were already outside the school grounds and had slipped into the back alleys.