O-levels

Well it seems that Michael Gove is bringing back O-levels. Or at least their structure. 

Which is great. Really great. I'm being bitter and sarcastic if you can't tell.

I've just done my GCSEs, I haven't got the results but the exams are pretty much done. Hopefully I'll do well, and that'll be an achievement that is recognised as "Look! I'm clever. I CAN do things!" Except not everyone sees it like that.

Just as I approach my exams it seems the media is full of people telling "Back in my day..." stories where they tell us just how hard exams were back in their day, how difficult O-levels were, and how exams just keep on getting easier.

I could argue with them but fine, let them have that. Maybe the exams were harder. Taking them all in one go at the end of 2 years of studying does seem harder than doing half in year 10 and half in year 11.

But I have always counted on the fact that exams were getting easier. My GCSEs might mean less than the previous generation's O-levels but at least I knew the next generation's academic accomplishment's would stand for even less; my GCSEs would make me look like a genius in comparison and I could smugly gloat over them and tell them "Back in my day..." stories.

However with Mr Gove's lovely new reforms future students' exams will be harder. And their exams will mean more. And I will be one of the unlucky few who have GCSEs and who are condescended on by both the older and younger generation.

And I'll never get to tell my "Back in my day..." story.

Poetry

This entry would probably be best read in the voice of Frankie Boyle as it's going to be quite angry and probably very sweary.
Poetry is shit. Most of it is pretentious bollocks that doesn't rhyme, with multiple layers of idiotic meaning. Some poetry is bearable: children's poetry and funny poetry that rhymes. But the rest is shite. Poetry is basically the shitty middle ground between songs and stories. I don't really see its purpose in society. You could say that it's a form of self-expression but so is abstract art, and that's fucking shit as well. The reason behind my bitter contempt for poetry (apart from the fact that it's shit) is that I have spent far too long analysing bloody awful poems for my English GCSE. They were all utter bollocks, using similes and imagery and other shit to convey some pretentious poety twat's opinion on war or peace or cheese. The few poems that weren't contrived and multi-layered, were dismissed as bad by my teacher or she proceeded to inject many layers of bollocky meaning into the poem.
Anyway, here is my shitty, hypocritical and hopefully ironic poem:

This is a poem
No it's fucking not
Yes it is, look it has lines and everything
But it doesn't rhyme
It's still a poem
But it's utter shite
No, it's about self-expression
Well you're definitely expressing that you're a prententious twat
I'm not, I have many layers of deep meaning and opinion
Knob.

Now I've finished assaulting poetry I would like to highlight the delights of English language:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hBBhdgb5eE

Have a nice day.

You probably won't enjoy reading this.

There, I warned you. You probably won't enjoy reading this. This is going to be a blog of my thoughts, with some fanatic praise of things I like thrown in. This blog is probably going to be shit and I doubt anyone will read this but oh well. I'll trudge on anyway.